So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
