the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
