FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
