there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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