I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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