apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
accomplished twins. life is a go
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
