there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
