who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
BRING THE BAGELS
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
