Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
