Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
