at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
