i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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