That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
