Grow some girl-balls and come out already
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
