Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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