and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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