I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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