That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
