idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
