Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
