fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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