Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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