and you said cock pushups were impossible
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sobbing to NWA
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
