drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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