i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
vagina is talking i cant
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
