I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
