I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
