Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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