I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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