She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
