we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
