I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You were trust falling into bushes
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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