i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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