I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
