i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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