We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
