I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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