and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Randomize
