If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
