***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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