She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
