Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
