Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
