Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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