sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
