Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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