every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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