I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
