then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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