my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
