so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
