how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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