i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
