After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
love makes seman taste better
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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