After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Text me some of your sweat
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
