I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
