i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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